A Good Marriage //free\\ Jun 2026

Let’s dispel a dangerous myth: A good marriage is not a conflict-free marriage. In fact, a marriage with zero conflict is likely a marriage with zero honesty.

When a spouse forgets to take out the trash, a struggling marriage interprets that as: "He is so lazy. He never helps. He doesn't care about me." A good marriage interprets that as: "He must have had a brutal day at work. He looks exhausted. I’ll remind him gently." A Good Marriage

In the early stages of love, the "enmeshment" phase feels intoxicating. We want to do everything together. But a good marriage evolves into a state of secure interdependence. This means that while the couple relies on one another for support and love, they do not rely on the other for their entire identity or happiness. Let’s dispel a dangerous myth: A good marriage

A good marriage is not the firework. It is the long, low-burning ember that warms the house on a winter night when the power has gone out. He never helps

Perhaps the most important characteristic of a good marriage is the ability to survive the "void"—those seasons, sometimes years, where the romantic feelings flatline.